sana pwede maging maramot
sana pwedeng walang magbago
sana ganito nalang palagi
sana karamihan ng oras ay puro kasiyahan nalang
sana pagtanda ko ikaw pa rin ang nandyan
sana ikaw pa rin ang naghahatid sundo sa akin
sana ikaw pa rin ang kasama ko pag-ako'y pumupunta sa doktor
sana ikaw pa rin ang kasama ko pagmay kailangan akong bilhin
sana ikaw kasama ko pag-umaalis ako
sana hindi mo nalang naisip na magkaroon ng sariling pamilya (kaugnay sa pagiging maramot)
sana hindi kita mamiss kahit alam kong imposible
at...
sana hindi ka nalang aalis.

damn it! i'm going to miss you. what am i gonna do without you? i get lost even when you're around guiding me. i can't imagine how lost i'm going be without you there to tell me everything's gonna be fine or to simply listen to me rant. you have no idea how many times i pick up my phone in a day thinking that i'm going tell you something and then i have to stop myself coz i can't get used to you being the first person to know because you'll be leaving and i just can't do that anymore. now who'll know everything?
i guess the reason i'm not ready to let you go is because i KNOW that letting you go now would mean forever. just as i've said so many times before, i don't keep in touch. not that i don't want to but it's just not me. one of my many flaws. i'm not family so when you get back, there's no obligation to reach me. unlike high school friends, there isn't a web of common friends with whom we're supposed to meet once in a while. so 'see you later' is actually really goodbye. that's why it makes me sad. you've come to be this very important person who i depend on on so many levels that it's just simply hard. tanong nga ni Ai, will you ever stop depending on people? i told her no because once you learn to not depend on one person, you have probably found another one to depend on and the whole cycle of leaving starts all over again. she also said learn to let go. i knew me telling her that would come back to bite me but it's true. i guess i'm just not ready. but i have to be. even though i still need time to learn to adjust, there isn't any. i've known from the start but "why wasted the little time we have left?" maybe i just like doing this to myself. i learn to depend on someone who i know won't be there the next time i fall. maybe because i know that every person you let into your life will make a difference. maybe because it's true that "it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all".
i wish the circumstances are different but then if they were, we wouldn't be the people we are today. maybe every moment wouldn't mean as much as they do. every conversation not as cherished, not as important. i'll be selfish for once and say screw the circumstances. i hate that you're leaving and there's nothing i can do to stop you from leaving. i know you have to but i don't have to like it =( i know you'll be well taken cared of because that's how much i trust in Him but i wish i could actually know and that it's just not faith telling me so.

*it's not like you're the first person to leave but all those who have left, i haven't been in speaking terms with when they go so no point to keep in touch. i wish i had all the practice with classmates who have left but i don't and frankly, i don't know where to start or what to do.
i hate that when it comes to friendships, i'm always insecure. i guess i'm just like that when it comes to people who really matter. i hate being like this coz if it were the other way around, i think i'll probably get tired of that person. i guess i'm lucky that no one has gotten tired of me yet.
hmm... maybe i could use the space to grow up and learn again the idea that in the end, you should only depend on yourself (because you can't leave yourself)*

a very close used-to-be friend asked me this morning if i still missed her. i said yes, but not really. she said, she does too but not as much coz we don't get to talk anyways. sa isip ko, well, i had it coming.

saw this link in aa's post and decided to try it. guess what! i survived 16.924 seconds. try it! :D
http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html

awww... today, i went out with people. someone said to her husband how she wanted to be buried and stuff when she dies. she said she was sure that she'd die first coz she talked to God and said that she can't live without her husband that's why she had to go first. me, being the die hard romantic, went all mushy inside. you don't see that much couples nowadays who are still in love with their partners despite staying together for more than 15 years. sometimes, i wonder if that'll ever happen to me. same kami ni ai eh. we feel like we're trapped, we can't have a commitment. so there, i wonder if i could ever stay with someone for the rest of my life. how do you know if you that person's the one you're still gonna be nuts about even after the looks have gone, after every single disagreement you have, after seeing all the bad habits. how do you know?
or what if you're a single parent? you've been a single parent ever since. do you still yearn for a partner who you can share a family with, grow old with, look back on the years and laugh at the memories with? do you think you could still find that someone who can make you gooey inside with a smile, who can take away your breath everytime he/she enters the room, who can make everyone in the room disappear when he/she locks eyes with you? if that did happen once, how do you know that that person who you let go or let you go, isn't the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with? if that person is gone, would you ever miss how he/she made you feel? would you try to look for that same feeling in someone else? maybe then you'd be too blinded by what you want and believe that every feeling was the same as it was? how do you find that person in this world of over 6 billion people?
so many questions, so little answers. maybe even possibly, no answers at all (yet). i guess that when the time's right, when the person's right, all of the stars align to give you that happily ever after that you've searching for all your life.

THE COLLEGE CYCLE

every new semester: after first week: after second week: before midterms: during midterms: after midterms: before finals: after knowing schedule of final exams: 7 days before a final exam: 6 days before a final exam: 5 days before a final exam: 4 days before a final exam: 3 days before a final exam: 2 days before a final exam: 1 day before a final exam: night before a final exam: 1 hour before a final exam: during a final exam: after walking out of the examination hall: after the final exams, during the holiday:

ARIES - The Aggressive

Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




TAURUS - The Tramp

Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight.
Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




GEMINI - The Twin

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Gemini's will not take any crap from anyone. Gemini's like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Gemini's can be very sarcastic and childish at times, and are very nosey.
Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




CANCER - The Beauty

MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative Person, most's are artists and insane respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare
Spontaneous. Not a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




LEO - The Lion

Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy, but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




VIRGO - The One that Waits

Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. The do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




LIBRA - The Lame One

Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying... Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Kinda dumb at times. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




SCORPIO - The Addict

EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One

Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones will all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover

Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy. But when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet.
Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always
gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs especially Gemini's in sports. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.




AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water

Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in
long-term relationships. Can be clumbsy at times but tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy, and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when their not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more then their familiy. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward




PISCES - The Partner for Life

Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Messy at times and irresponsible! Smart but lazy. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. Lover of animals. VERY caring, make wonderful nurses or doctors. They always try to do the right thing sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes et used by others and hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but need to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

this has been officially the worst week ever. I've never felt so down or helpless before. i don't know what to do or how to help. it's not just one person, ang dami na nila. i promised them i won't tell and it's driving me crazy.. ai, i love you. ang dami dami kong gustong sabihin. but i know you pretty much know what it all leads to. and it's i love you. Jess, where are you? i need you badly.

so it was their
7th month
anniversery
and the girl calls her boyfriend::

girl:
I love you.


- Boy:
Yeah I know everyone does!


-Girl:
Really?


- Boy:
Yeah...everyone of my friends that are
girls tell me that everyday.


- Girl:
Oh...but am I only your friend?


- Boy:
No...you're my girlfriend...why?


- Girl:
So when I say I love you I really do
mean it.


- Boy:
Yeah I know you do mean it...its just
that you dont need to tell me that you
love me anymore cuz I know you love me
since the day we been together and i
love you more each and everyday.


- Girl:
......


- Boy:
So wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7
month anniversary?


- Girl:
Yeah...where?


- Boy:
I dont know...maybe movie then dinner?


-Girl:
Ok.


- Boy:
Ill pick you up after I get off and get
ready ok?


- Girl:
Ok. What time do you get off?


- Boy:In 2 hours and then I gotta go
home and yeah get ready which takes
about 15-20 mintues...


-Girl:
hey...I thought you didnt have work
today...


- Boy:
One of my co-workers called in sick.


- Girl:
Oh okay! So ill see you around 7:30
then?


- Boy:
Yeah! and babe?


- Girl:
Yeah?


- Boy:
I love you.


- Girl:
I love you too!


- Boy:
Ok my manager is like looking at me so
yeah.... i gotta go.


- Girl:
Ok bye.


- Boy:
Bye.


****************************


2 hours later...


The guy drives to his girlfriends house
and walks up to the door and rings
bell.


- Girl:
Hey! (gives a kiss to her boyfriend)


- Boy:
Wassup...you ready?


- Girl:
Um...wait...let me get my bag and we
can go ok?


- Boy:
Ok.


They both watched a movie and ate
dinner...once they were done eating
they headed back to the car but before
she got into the car...


- Boy:
Wait! Can I blind fold you?


- Girl:
Why??!


- Boy:
Its a suprise.


- Girl:
What kind of suprise?


- Boy:
A big one.


- Girl:
Okay but only if you promise me that
you will hold my hand while we're
driving.


- Boy:
I promise.


- Girl:
Ok blind fold me...


So they drove off...........and then
they stopped.


- Boy:
Ok we're here!


-Girl:
Where?


- Boy:
Wait let me walk you to the place!


- Girl:
What place?


- Boy:
Somewhere! (and gives a kiss to her on
the lips)


- Girl:
Baby!...


The boy walks her to the place.


- Boy:
Ok...let me take the blind fold off.


- Girl:
Where are we?


He takes it off her and she opens her
eyes and sees the view of the city and
at that same spot...that's where he
first asked her to be his
girlfriend....


- Girl:
Omg...(tears come down)


- Boy:
Why are you crying?


- Girl:
This is where you first asked me out...


- Boy:
What are you doing the rest of your
life? (he asked on his knees and after
he says that...behind him...in the air
it says "Will you marry me?" in
fireworks)


- Girl:
(tears come down faster)


- Boy:
I wasnt at work when you called me...I
was planning this whole thing!


- Girl:
Set up!


- Boy:
Yeah?


- Girl:
(kisses him)


- Boy:
Is that a yes or a no?


- Girl:
Yes.

yesterday, as i was attending my friend's debut, i realized something. when i attended my "best friend's" debut and there was the 18 candles, i wasn't asked to speak. i guess she thought that i would be too shy to do it. then i thought that there are only a handful of people who knows that they mean too much and that speaking in front of crowd would be easy especially if i were doing it for them. then i remembered linz and ai, the only people in the world who knew me well enough to know that i would do anything for them. these are the few people who knows how much they mean to me. speaking in front would be no big deal for the people i love.

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a
few
minutes
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders if you do

When your laying your
head on a guy's chest
,he has the world

When a guy calls/texts/comments you
everyday,
he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves
you,
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without
you,
he's with you til youre done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else

Girl facts:

When you catch a girl
glancing at you,
she wants you to look
back and smile

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it even when
you see each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through
her
mind

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply

When a girl looks at you with eyes
full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after
a
few seconds,
she is not at all fine

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are playing
games

When a girl lays her head on your
chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers
forever

When a girl says she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

When a girl is mean to you after a
break-up
she wants you back, but shes
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever

SEVENTEEN:
You look at their profile constantly.


SIXTEEN:
When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.


FIFTEEN:
You read their Texts and Ims Over and over again.



FOURTEEN:
You walk really slow when you're with them.



THIRTEEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.



ELEVEN:
When you think about them, your heart beats faster but slower at the same time.



TEN:
You smile when you hear their voice.



NINE:
When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her.



EIGHT:
You start listening to slow songs while thinking about them.



SEVEN:
They're all you think about.



SIX:
You get high just from their scent.



FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.



FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.



THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.



TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve was missing



ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself.


NOW MAKE A WISH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO


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stolen from kazi...


1. Should Vegetarians eat animal crackers?

2. Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?

3. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

4. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

5. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

6. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

7. Do fish ever get thirsty?

8. After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

9. If you throw a cat out of a moving vehicle, is it considered kitty litter?

10. Why is there braille on drive through ATM machines?

11. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?

12. How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

13. Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

14. Do penguins have knees?


15. Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

16. In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

17.Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

18. If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

19. If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

20. Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness?

21. How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?

22. If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?

23. Why are red buttons always the most important?

24. How is chess considered a sport?

25. Why when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"

26. Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

27. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

28. When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they?

29. If you only have one eye, are you blinking or winking?

30. Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?

haay... i got the results of the botany practical exam today. i got 55/85 but since i was part of group 1, we have extra -5. now i'm 55. the passing is 51 haha. that kinda sucks but i it's fine. then when i got to ica, they were almost done. mei-tzi said i was sick but i really wasn't and she kept tickling me trying to make me laugh and biting me. i really wasn't sad, i guess i was just being quiet haha. kristina was acting a bit bossy but it's fine, sometimes they just have to so that the little kids will listen. niklas was there a while ago playing with the tower of pull buoys. (?) haha...
i sent ai this nice little message from one of my classmates:
"what's the best feeling in the world?
it's when you're both sleeping in a cold night, you turn around, seeing him in his most innocent state, you kiss him gently, making sure you won't wake him up. you turn your back and a smile lights up your face. suddenly, you feel an arm hug your waist, a warm breath on the back of your beck. then you hear him say "i love you." ai and i went awww....
so there. sucky botany test (as usual), a nice kilig (for lack of a better word) quote and a cute naughty little sister. i love the both of you so much! :)

crazy 2 days this week...
had no classes on monday! considering i didn't study during the 4 and a half day break, i had to get my act together and study for tuesday's exams in botany :) yes, exams!
we were supposed to have a quiz in phar1 but teacher was absent so, it was moved to thursday. this is a very long overdue quiz already. it's our first for prelims grading period. afternoon, we have botany!!!!! we were outside the lab at 1 reviewing for practical exam then teacher goes out and says that the next exam is regarding roots and leaves. but but... he told us that it was on leaves and stems!!! ack! cram! haha :) so the first batch entered to take their exams. the first batch, including me, were making last minute reviews. after the practical exam which was over 85, we moved to the next lab to take the written quiz. we thought it was only that 2-page paper which he gave us but while we were taking the quiz, he started placing new set of questionnaires. sheesh, the one we were taking was only about roots. so, 3 quizzes in one subject. i think the total was 160 haha... crazy... i wonder how many points our prelims exams are next week.
after that, i rode my first tricycle ride and lrt ride :) it was amazing! haha :) i looked stupid though seeing it as it was my first time haha. i was asking my classmates all kinds of questions haha. i got to ica earlier than usual. when i told mei-tzi that i took the lrt she said i was crazy and that i'm going to die early of all the pollution haha.
friday was the other crazy day. we were supposed to have 3 classes in the afternoon but then it became 4. the phar1 class pushed through on thursday but then she prepared to quizzes expecting someone to announce to us last tuesday that we were taking 2 quizzes. nobody came so she said we will extend classes on friday. so 4 quizzes: math, theology, chem lab and phar1. math quiz didn't push through because he forgot to tackle one topic. theo quiz was a bit frustrating because it was 6 5-point essay quiz. after studying so much, he's making us take an essay quiz! haha :) then chem lab. chem was pretty abnormal. there was one part which he said he didn't teach and my classmates, being the ones who never listen agreed with him. so while taking the quiz, he was lecturing on how to answer that part. i benefitted from it though since i forgot what he said 2 days before. then phar1 quiz! she was having an extension class for 3 of the classes she handle at the same time. we were taking quizzes in shifts. first was 1C followed by us, 1B then another class. my classmates are such cheaters haha. the room has a window with blinds, they were peaking and looking at the student's answers. our quiz turned out to be exactly the same.
oh yeah, i got my id too! :) i need a nice id lace haha... hmm.. where could i get one?
i went to iraya center then watched hairspray.. have to go study for exams already. til next time!

Falling In Love

It is a mystery why we fall in love.

It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes.

It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share.

More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that is freely given and a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life together, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and to accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you.

All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.

Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.

They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN IT WILL COME AGAIN.

hmm… last Monday and Tuesday I was sad coz I just realized how much I miss ICA and how the environment in UST and ICA is so much different. I regretted going to UST and instead wished I took the Ateneo test and went there instead. I asked myself: “why did I really choose to go to UST instead of Ateneo? Why did I want to deviate from something I’m so used to?” all my friends and the “kind” of people I’m used to are there. Then that doubt that I won’t make it kept bugging me. that Monday night I prayed to Him, I asked Him to take away all the doubts that were creeping up. I asked Him to give me strength to not just drop next year and transfer to Ateneo. Tuesday morning, I thought I was done with the issue, apparently I wasn’t. While waiting for our turn to leave for the tour, I was sort of teary-eyed. I told my classmates it was just because I had colds. But in fact, I was really crying. I was saying to myself “ayaw ko na” then I remembered that this was the feeling I had when I went to Taiwan, like I wanted to go home. Then I realized that my Taiwan tour turned out to be one of the best events in my life and so I thought, this might just be the same. So here I am, battling my way with both the course and the sudden change of environment. That afternoon, we had an orientation, and that’s when I sort of realized that I made the right choice. Maybe along the way, I’ll realize that I only didn’t sort of make the right choice but I surely made the right choice.
I was assigned to be president last Monday by mr. Vasquez, my botany teacher. I think he likes fooling me haha. First meeting palang he made me pray na tapos the next meeting he made me president. Grr… haha 
I had a funny text with Jenna. She said she was busy coz being in ME meant she had more units than the other people. I asked her how many units she had and guess what? She has 19… I have 29 haha.

Continuation next time…

haha okie :) first day, went to classes doi! haha... first period teacher, botany, mr vasquez came at 7:45 na so 45 minutes nalang haha... he just checked the reg(istration) form then left to go a meeting at 8. then next teacher came around 9 na instead of 8:30 haha... classmates got bored so they left then suddenly the teacher came haha... someone announced to us that we had no afternoon classes since the room we will be using is not yet ready to be used since it is still under construction. after filipino, it was chem lab. 3 hours of chem in a hot lab haha. since the teacher knew we wouldn't go to the afternoon class, she gave us the homework already. we had to copy the list of important dates to remember, like the monthly, prelims and finals. since we're in the faculty of pharmacy, we have more tests than the others. after lab and lunch, we went home.

thursday, met english teacher, pharmacy teacher and math teacher. math teacher gave us a lesson right away and i was able to answer. yey! we had a funny experience haha. we had botany lab in FLR LAB 7... how do you read FLR? floor dba? haha.. wrong! it's FLR pala tlaga. father lorenzo rodriguez lab haha. he oriented us on the course and gave us the homework and dismissed us early.

friday, had PE orientation in the morning then long break. for PE, i need to have a physical exam certificate. around 10, i went to the health service and got it. i finished applying for it at 11. mom and i went to ongpin. we ate in quick snack and she brought me back to ust. we weren't supposed to have classes for math coz we were also staying in the unprepared room but our math teacher found a place to teach. after that, we kept going back to the dean's office to find out if our chem teacher will still teach us but the lady got mad at us coz we kept on asking. fine! buti nga the students want to learn pa eh. yung students pa yung naghahanap sa teacher. so we went home nalang. it was so traffic going home. went to swim team bonding :) ate in cpk. yuM! went to kazi's house and stayed til 11 haha.

saturday, fixed my bookshelf and did homework. i have so many books haha. i even listed everything down.

i will post my first week here, but first...

define pretendin...

saying you're ok, but you're not, that you understand but you don't

acting like you're busy, but in reality you're lonely

convincing people that you just wanna be friend, but what you really want is more than friends

when you know that she/he has somebody new, you act like it doesn't hurt when it really hurts so bad inside

when you say that you've moved on, but the truth is you're still waiting

when you say it's over, but you know you still love him/her

and you say you can't relate with this message, but then you really do


"sometimes it's really hard to say no if we really mean yes. it's hard to close our eyes if we really want to see, it's hard to forget if we really can't. the hardest is to go if we really want to stay."

"the only limit to your life is your own imagination. the only thing that's going to stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do is your ability to envision doing it."

i'll post later about my first day in school but i first have to do homework... in order for that to happen, i need to get something out first... i'm scared. scared that i'll fail, scared that i won't be able to do it, scared that i'll wake up one day and realize that who am i kidding, scared that maybe this isn't what i really want, scared that this isn't who i am, scared that i'll think what is all of this for... many fears... i hope they go away with time..